


Dr. Doof, or; How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Inator

by LightIdentity



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Locked In, M/M, Tags May Change, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:53:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22189711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightIdentity/pseuds/LightIdentity
Summary: After an unfortunate mishap with Doctor D's most recent Inator, he and Perry end up stuck in the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated condo for an unknown amount of days. Considering the scary amount of untouched emotional tension between them, the next three days are sure to be... interesting, to say the least.Three days alone with your nemesis of four years can't be that awful, right?[ Tags will be updated as the fic continues. I'll do my best to keep this updated steadily, but I'm awfully new at all of this. ]
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Comments: 8
Kudos: 131





	Dr. Doof, or; How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Inator

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in the fandom, and my first multi-chaptered work, so please be patient with me. Feedback is very, very welcome. This is not beta read, so there may be errors I have missed -- sorry about that.

Doofenshmirtz’s new invention hadn’t seemed particularly unique or dangerous from first glance. 

“Behold, Perry the Platypus! My Siege-inator!” Doofenshmirtz basically yelled, arms thrown wide as he revealed the machine. Perry could already see the self-destruct button, bright red and rigged to glow in the dark. This ought to be a piece of cake. The agent started to fumble quietly with his lockpick as the pseudo-pharmacist began his ramble.

“Now, you might be wondering why I decided to make such a specific machine, and you’d be right to, Perry the Platypus. You see, as you may know, my goody-two-shoes brother still has the support of the braindead public, and with it, his seat in office!” Mid-explanation, Doofenshmirtz began to wheel his heavy, wheeled creation out to the balcony’s entrance, the aimed nozzle of the beam pointing decidedly outside. Rolling his eyes, Perry shuffled himself along, basically holding his trap together from the inside.

“With this Siege-Inator, however, I can put an end to the public’s faith in him! If I just aim it at him like this…” Doofenshmirtz tapped a few keys into the console’s panel, and the nozzle redirected itself downwards, locked on to some distant building. Ah, the pieces were starting to come together.  
“…when I press this ‘Fire’ button, my brother will be absolutely incapable of leaving his house! Imagine that, Perry the Platypus! A county with no mayor in sight! In the anarchy of the aftermath, I will swoop in to soothe the panicked masses and I will take over the Tri-State Area!!”

He turned towards the ‘trapped’ agent with a clear sense of pride in his movement, grinning down at him. “Once I press this button, you won’t be able to stop me! Here, look, see –“  
At that, Perry burst free, deciding it was best to intervene now. Before Doofenshmirtz could react, he ran over to the evil scientist, landing a kick right to his stomach. Spluttering out a cry of surprise, the scientist fell backwards into his own machine, knocking its carefully aimed nozzle so that it swivelled around, facing the DEI building instead. It made a threatening noise and began to shudder, a pale blue light gathering in front of it.

“Oh no! It’s gone into fire-and-self-destruct mode! I can’t stop it!”  
Perry shot a judging glare at Doofenshmirtz at that. ‘The what?’ he signed sarcastically.  
“Hey! What was that look for? Every machine needs a fire-and-self-destruct option—oh, it doesn’t matter, just come and help me redirect this Siege-inator before it fires in here!”

Rolling his eyes, Perry ran up to where Heinz was now frustratedly trying to swivel the lurching machine and placed both of his hands on it in an attempt to help budge it. Unfortunately, by removing the fabled Random Fire mode for a new, worse mode, he seemed to have perfected the machine’s ability to lock into place while it prepared a shot. Despite how effortlessly it had moved off its lock, it was now absolutely firmly in place, even despite its dangerous shudders and groans. In order to redirect its beam, the duo would have to move the machine itself, and considering the weight of it –

Before Perry could fully think through his planning, the machine fired, and the entire condo was bathed in its light for a few moments before fully dissipating. With one last mechanical whirr, the machine exploded into several hundred pieces, sending the two flying backwards. Shocked into silence, both men watched the aftermath slowly settle into place.

The first observation Perry made of said aftermath was that the main room of the DEI condo was now a veritable mess. It usually was, exploding Inators was not a particularly clean job. So that was normal, at least.  
The second observation he made was that the door the Inator had been half-poking out of was now decidedly closed. If he squinted, Perry could make out the familiar residue of what looked like a decent welding job. The Inator had probably actually worked.  
Whatever third observation Perry might have made was quickly interrupted by a rather shrill yell of anguish from Heinz as his words caught up to him. Shrugging off the few bits of machinery that had been flung across the room, the evil scientist bolted to the door, his skinny fingers running down its now-sealed sides. He gave a few test knocks to the door’s wooden body, before somehow sinking further into a slouch and turning back to face the stunned secret agent.

“So, um. Looks like we’re sieged, Perry the Platypus. If that door locked so well, no doubt the front door has locked even more.” Heinz gave an awkward laugh, probably trying to lighten the situation that seemed to be unfolding before them.

‘What now? I have places to be,’ Perry signed back, trying his best to keep up his face of indifference despite the worry beginning to pool in his stomach. If the Inator had fully worked as planned, that meant they’d be completely cut off from society unless someone else broke the door down. And knowing OWCA, they would definitely not be on top of the ball with a rescue. Major Monogram was an okay boss, but when it came to taking responsibility, he left a lot to be desired. He just had to hope he wasn’t declared officially missing…

“Well… I didn’t exactly program a, eh, time limit for the Siege-Inator, so… I guess we’re stuck, huh.” He looked aimlessly around the room. “I guess I have you trapped! Again.” Heinz looked rather proud of himself at that, but an unimpressed look from Perry silenced his evil laughter. With another sigh, the inventor approached. “Yeah, I know. Bad move, I get it. Not my best Inator, really. And I’m not expecting anyone for another week, when Vanessa comes around for the weekend.”

Right, of course Heinz wouldn’t have many plans. He didn’t tend to be.. social, Perry remembered. It didn’t usually occur to him that they were each other’s main daily event. Brushing off the dust from his OWCA-regulated uniform, the agent straightened up.  
‘Agency will probably notice absence in…’ he began to sign, hands lowering slightly when he thought about the time span. Best not to be too optimistic, and get anyone’s hopes up, he decided. ‘… about four days.’ 

“Four days?!” Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, placing a hand on his forehead. “I guess I’m trapped as well, then. You’d imagine OWCA would be more worried about their top agent being missing.” Perry shrugged at that comment. Some things never changed. “Oh well. Come on, Perry the Platypus. If we’re stuck together, we’d better make sure we don’t starve, or something like that. I hope you like Almond Brittle!” He sounded surprisingly welcome to the idea of hosting his nemesis, Perry noted to himself. 

Following Doofenshmirtz into the kitchen cautiously, Perry leaned against a counter as the scientist started rummaging through his stuff. The agent gazed around. He felt oddly at home in this condo, even as Heinz babbled away to himself about how he had a complicated history with grocery shopping. He’d spent enough time around this building for it to count as a second home, beside his attic room in the Flynn-Fletchers’. Was that against regulation? To be on such good terms with someone he was supposed to hate unconditionally? Perry had never worked up the guts to check the forms, terrified of having either Carl or Major Monogram stumble across the searches in his lair’s computer activity… as pathetic as that sounded.

“Hey, Perry the Platypus, I thought you were going to help me with seeing what supplies we have!” Heinz spoke, snapping Perry out of his sudden introspective haze. The teal-haired agent shook his head lightly to clear his mind, giving a hasty apology sign to the scientist.

‘Sorry. Looked like we had a lot.’ He motioned to the currently open fridge, which had been clearly recently filled. He could feel himself turn a soft red at having been caught in such deep thought. Just because he was technically off-the-clock did not mean he was permitted to lose professionalism here!

Doofenshmirtz gave Perry a weird look, his expression unreadable. “Mm-hmm,” he hummed, placing back what he’d put away. “I guess that makes sense. I didn’t think you were the type to get lost in thought, though,” he observed, the last sentence clearly less directed at him. Perry shrugged self-consciously. “Oh well, it doesn’t matter. We’re just lucky I sucked it up and went grocery shopping two days ago!”

‘I can cook if you want me to,’ he signed, moving over to look around at the food. Best to take his mind off things, and try to keep his eye on things in case things went south. As much as he knew Heinz wouldn’t pull something else after the Inator’s misfire, he was still in the ‘belly of the beast’, so to speak. Perry knew he’d feel better knowing he’d made his own food. 

“You don’t have to cook for me, Perry the Platypus, this is my home—” Heinz began to protest, but Perry hushed him with his signature clicking noise, pulling out what looked like pasta and chicken from the assorted cabinets. An easy meal, thank God. Anything more fancy would look like.. a romantic gesture. Which.. Well, Perry elected not to think about the idea of a dinner date with Heinz whilst standing right in front of him. Professionalism, remember.

‘Focus on the cleanup,’ he signed, moving to get everything set up.

“Well, I guess you can, if you really insist. You know, I never imagined I’d see my nemesis of all people volunteering to cook dinner for us. I didn’t even know you could cook.” He looked slightly hopeful at that last statement, as if he expected more, but Perry had already moved on to setup, hands full. He gave a wordless thumbs up to the scientist, whose shoulders slumped a bit, almost imperceptibly so.

“Okay, well. I’ll be out in the living room if you need me. Don’t break my plates, I hate going utensil shopping with a passion – but, that’ll be a backstory for another Inator!” With one last glance at Perry, he disappeared around the corner, and the sound of various metallic clanks slowly started to fill the otherwise heavy and unsettling silence of the kitchen. 

Letting out a deep, sigh Perry hadn’t realised he’d been holding, he set to work on his task.  
He had an awful feeling that this situation would somehow ruin what he had built with Doofenshmirtz. For a reason he could not place, the idea of what may happen over the next few days made the agent feel nervous to his core.


End file.
